GoneAway

He asks, "Why are you so afraid?" and I don't know what to say. How do I respond without sounding desperate. Desolate. "Because I need you." We both hear the desperation in my voice and I feel ashamed. I should be stronger. Yet the thought of him being far away frightens me and leaves me feeling sad and alone. Not caring if I seem crazy, I stammer, "What if I need you? What happens when I miss you so much it hurts and you aren't here? And what do I do if you need me and I can't get to you? You will be gone and I will be here....alone....well not alone exactly, but lonely." He smiles at me that sweet smile of understanding and cups my cheeks with his warm hands. I look away feeling the tears gathering in my eyes. Softly he speaks, "Look at me." And so I look. Deep into his eyes. Eyes that have watched me dance and walk along the beach. Eyes that have seen all of my silly faces. Eyes that have searched my soul and still love what they see. Those deep blue eyes that see through me to the woman I long to be. And he gently wipes at my tears with his thumb. "I'm not leaving forever. In fact I will be here with you every single day. Because wherever you are, that is where my heart is. We will be okay, my love. We will be okay." And I know that in my heart. We will make it through the miles that separate us. But I say to him, "I will miss you with everything I am. With every breath I take. And with all of my heart. But I will be here waiting for you when you come back to me. Loving you all the more for taking chances and making a way for us. For our life together one day. But just so you know.....it better be soon." And I smile through my tears. He hugs me close to him. I fear that if he lets go I may crumble...but I will be strong for him. I am determined. I will go on keeping myself busy and taking care of things that need to be done. But while he is away I will ache for him. To be in his arms. To kiss him tenderly. Though he is in a different city I will feel him near. And I will be sending all my love to him. ♥